Crackers

We of the west believe crackers are for soup. I don’t mean those sissy ones made of hi-gluten wheat flour and canola oil they hand out in fancy restaurants. I mean saltine crackers. They are also fantastic with crispy green salad. What would a bowl of firehouse chili be without a load of crumpled up crackers, and lots of catsup? One of my favorites as a kid was Campbell’s Pea Soup loaded with so many gooey saltines it looked like a big green glob of pasty peas. My family wasn’t too prosperous, and with crackers and ketchup you could almost double the subject matter.

Most restaurants in California, especially those with fancy-pancy menus, don‘t carry them. “Soup or salad, Sir?” They ask.

“Got saltine crackers?”

“Why, no we don’t.”

“Neither one then”

Growing up I would go to a Chinese Restaurant and order chop suey. The waiters would bring a piping hot bowl and a large tub of crackers. It was a delicious combination. After moving to California I ate at this Chinese restaurant. I ordered a bowl of chop suey and when it arrived I asked for some crackers.

“Clackers,” eyebrows raised, eyes wide the guy exclaimed, “We don’t have clackers!” He looked upset that anyone with any sense would order such a thing. I thought he was going to throw me out, and ban me from ever entering in his establishment again.

Denny’s has crackers, but they only give you two. There’s not much you can do with only two saltines. If you ask for more they always forget to bring them, and by the time you’ve waived your arm several times at a waitress, who by the by ignore the gesture, you’ve eaten your soup. Sometimes someone across the room will waive back. I go over and see if they have any crackers they’re not using and are willing to give up.

A few weeks back my wife and I went to the “C&C Bread Bakery an’ Café in downtown Grand Junction. The bakery is owned by two nice ladies, Brenda and Janet. It features home made soup, great sandwiches, and fresh baked bread. Pea soup was that day’s special.

“Got any crackers?” I asked.

“No we don‘t,” Janet said.

“Soup ain’t soup with out ’em, I’ll just have a sandwich.”
A few minutes later Brenda came out from the back. “You know we should have some crackers. Back home we always had crackers with our soup. Next time you’ll have them.”

Sure enough on my next trip as soon as I walked through the door they announced, “We got your crackers!,” and a load of saltines were ushered forth. I crumpled as many as I could into that hot homemade black bean soup. I can’t wait for the next pea soup special so I can load it down into a big green glob of pasty peas.